Where Are You? Where Have You Been?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right? Or does it make one forget about things? Out of sight, out of mind. Well, I am here and I am well. It’s been a journey- one that has been all over the board of places, emotions, experiences, and responses.

Here’s a brief recap:  Coach left education and took a job in the private sector. This has been one of the single most positive decisions for him and our family; Another trip to Italy, including an incredible few days in Rome which included some wonderful visits with dear friends; We had to put our sweet pup to sleep, easily the most heartbreaking experience of my life; July was spent on the road 23 straight days with my oldest son & two of his best friends, running events on each coast and states in between; The youngest child got his driver’s permit and is now my personal chauffeur; Celebrated 20 years of marriage in NYC with some of our dearest friends; Took a kid to college 5 hours from home. Leaving him was heartbreaking and incredibly exciting at the same time.

I don’t list these things as a way to boast, brag, gain sympathy, or make excuses for my absence. In fact, it’s part of my theme for today’s post. The last  year and a half has been one of self loathing, anger, acceptance, discovery, and healing. It’s been the “study of one” and is on-going. There is no end to improving self and our relationships. Self care has taken on new importance. Therapy has helped, as does massage, yoga, and meditation. Good food continues to be a constant- not just as a comfort, but as a healing tool. It’s incredible how much food & inflammation from our foods affects not only our physical health, but our emotional and physiological health. Don’t believe me? Cut out all sugar and processed foods for a week and then eat a piece of candy and tell me how you feel in the 15 minutes immediately following. It’s mind blowing.

Writings have begun light and cheerful, masking the true feelings under the surface. The venom seeps into the fabric through the ink of the pen. So rather than posting for all to see, I have continued to write, to heal, through hand-written journaling until I could quiet my critical voice. Growth is never over. There are things yet to be dealt with and discovered. So many things still sit under the surface not quite ready to be unearthed just yet. They will. When the time is right.

So I throw out the question to all of you- Where are you? Where have you been?


Welcome 2018!

The blog is a source of angst for me. I don’t want to give it up, yet I don’t feel I can publish much of the content I sit down to share. It’s not that anything is bad; it’s more that I am blunt and brutally honest with my words and that words hurt people whether I mean to intentionally or not. I go back to the words my grandmother always said- if you can’t say anything nice (or that won’t hurt someone’s feelings- you probably shouldn’t say anything at all.  That’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way many times in my life.

2017 has been a great year for me personally. I set out to make it The Year of Alison and I succeeded. I spent a lot of time really learning about myself and to love myself fully. Seems so silly to see those words in print, but it’s so true. Many hours of journaling and re-writing the inner monologue rolling in my brain. Why is it when women are confident they’re seen as conceited when men are just seen as confident? It’s something I still struggle with- owning my own confidence all of the time. Should be simple yet it’s not. I have learned and continue to learn so much about myself. I’m carrying my momentum straight into the new year.

That’s not to say 2017 didn’t have it’s share of struggles. I definitely have many things to continue to work on. Our family has seen loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, and several new opportunities that have challenged both mindset and comfort zones. Who would have ever thought our world would revolve less around basketball and circle back to agriculture? Some things are blessings in disguise. Those blessings don’t make hurt feelings any easier to process, but it doesn’t feel bad to be able to say so long to those who don’t always realize the full value of a person’s work ethic and dedication to the jobs they fulfilled.  That definitely gives one a sense of self-satisfaction.

We continue to grow in age and wisdom. Though I don’t mind getting older, I sit and watch my kids with awe and a little bit of sadness as they get ready to enter the world of adulting. Time as flown by us. I still don’t know what I want to do when I grow up.  I really don’t have any intention of growing up. Until then I will keep playing in the giant sandbox of life and keep encouraging others to work hard, give their best, and remain positive regardless the stuff life throws at us.

10 Things I’ve learned in the last year:

  1. A good therapist is well worth the cost
  2. Positive energy brings positive energy. Surround yourself with it. Remove the negative, even if it means stepping away from long-time relationships.
  3. Yoga makes life better.
  4. A good massage therapist is well worth the cost
  5. Eat good food. Fueling your body with the right nutrients makes you feel good.
  6. Walking away from something you’ve done a long long time is losing a part of yourself. Expect to grieve.
  7. Always set goals. A goal setting journal helps. (I love my Smart Life Push Journal)
  8. Act like a kid every day. Splash in puddles. Eat ice cream. Be silly. Tell corny jokes. Play!
  9. Laugh!
  10. Be the best version of yourself every day. Believe in your abilities. Give it your all. You won’t regret it.